The Day I Saw His Hands

❤️ Who This Helps

By sharing my story, I hope to reach:

• NICU moms who feel alone and scared

• Women who had traumatic births and don’t know how to process them

• Mothers grieving fertility loss after hysterectomy

• Parents who came close to death and came back different

• Faith-based readers who’ve had spiritual medical moments

• Even people just trying to understand why they feel “not the same” after trauma

I’d like you to know:

“You are not strange for being changed by this.”

That is a gift.

Two years ago, I gave birth to our second child at 36 weeks via planned C-section. I had placenta accreta and previa, and I went into the operating room knowing there was a real risk of hemorrhage and hysterectomy. What I didn’t expect was what I experienced on the table.

I remember light—bright, unmistakable light—and a sense of being held still in something eternal. I saw the hands of Jesus. I felt peace. I was told, gently but clearly, to tell people what I saw.

I came back. I recovered. Our baby spent time in the NICU. And slowly, I began to understand that I wasn’t meant to return unchanged.

This is what I saw. This is what I’ve carried. And this is how it continues to shape the way I parent, plan, and show up in the everyday tangle of life.